This Is What Couples Always Realize - But Only After the Wedding

You’ve checked your timeline fifteen times. Your hair and makeup are running a little behind.  The place cards aren’t exactly how you pictured, and someone just stepped on the train of your dress.  Deep breath.

This is totally normal. So many couples feel that early-morning tension - the pressure for everything to run perfectly after months (or years!) of planning.  Even with the most organized timelines and thoughtful details, there will be one or two things that don’t go exactly according to plan.  After documenting so many wedding days, I’ve noticed a quiet shift that happens for almost every couple when the heartfelt moments of the reception start. 

Here’s what I wish I could tell every couple before their wedding day begins:

Post wedding ceremony feels at The Botanica in Oceanside, California.

The shift always happens

It might be as you sit down for dinner, take your first bite of actual food that day, and look around at the room full of your favorite people.  It might be during the toasts, when someone says something so thoughtful you want to bottle the words up and replay them forever.  Or it might be the moment you step onto the dance floor, hold each other a little tighter, and take in the weight of what just happened - you’re married!

There’s a calm that settles in. Even the most tightly wound couples feel it. The napkins, the dress bustle, the little timeline changes - none of it matters in that moment. It’s so easy to get caught up in the stress and pace of the day. Feeling a range of emotions is completely normal, and you should feel them - it’s one of the biggest days of your life! But try not to let those heightened emotions pull you into fixating on little things that won’t matter by the end of the night.

Family toasts during an intimate wedding at the Andaz in Scottsdale, Arizona.

So here's my encouragement:

try to give yourself permission to feel it sooner

Let the imperfect things unfold. I know it’s easier said than done, but sometimes the best moments of the day come from the unexpected. Let laughter be your secret weapon in those moments. It has a way of turning stress into joy. I once had a bride whose entire hair and makeup team forgot her wedding day and showed up hours late. You know what she did? She laughed, let it roll off her shoulders, and had the most incredible day. That moment could have completely derailed everything, but she chose joy instead.
Trust the people around you. Keep close the ones who make you feel seen, supported, and at ease...the kind of people who don’t just fix things but do it with love, humor, and your happiness in mind.

Let the moments be real instead of perfectly polished. It’s the genuine stuff: the teary hugs, the nervous giggles, the “we’re doing this!” glances that you’ll hold onto the longest.

Sweet moments at a Lauritzen Gardens wedding in Omaha, Neb.

That ease you’re bound to feel later? You’re allowed to step into it early (especially if you hired a wedding planner!). Let the planning and details fall away, and lean fully into the love, the joy, and the experience of the day. You’ve completed the hard part ahead of time, and now the magic is happening - let yourself be part of it! I’ve had so many couples tell me they wish they’d given themselves permission to do that from the very beginning - you don’t have to wait until the reception to start soaking it all in. And as your photographer, that’s exactly what I hope for you

Want a photographer who will feel all the feels alongside you? I would love to work with you!